Painful Sex

I've just seen a client who was a lovely man but who fingered me very vigourously and i now have pain :( My question is two fold; firstly how do you tell a client that they are hurting you without ruining the mood or putting them off, i tried to wriggle away but he continued, and secondly can this kin of thing do any serious damage? Thanks in advance xx

I could be wrong but i think its rare that men want to hurt women during sex and usually appreciate being told to go more gently. and if you say it in a sexy, sultry kind of way they usually apologise and ask for guidance as to how you really like it. I wouldnt be too scared to tell them, to be honest any guy would know that if he is too rough to the point your in pain, your less likely to see him again.

Without ruining the mood, you can tell him that you would be really turned on if he rubbed your clit instead. Gently pull his hand out and place it there yourself. It doesn't spoil the mood and he'll just think you're enjoying all aspects of his fingering.

It can be dangerous if they're too vigorous. I had one such customer who ended up scratching inside me with his uncut nails, to the point I bled. So I have no problem letting customers know now if they're too rough. Infection can set in too so you have to be careful. I'm sure he wouldn't mind it if you asked him to rub a different part of you.

I agree with the above, it's best to be direct about what you do like. You don't have to suffer silently. He probably didn't realize he was hurting you, some are really that clueless!

I had a man who fingered me and decided it would be a good idea to use his other hand to push down on my uterus from the outside. Needless to say, he got a high-pitched "ouch" in his ear because it took me by surprise and it bloody hurt! He jumped a mile and I asked him to be a little more gentle. He was and that was that.

Ouch?!!! thats what I always say. And no one hasnt been that unconcerned to keep doing it.

I read about this 'technique' in an article on g-spot stimulation. Definitely doesn't do anything for my g-spot, or for yours by the sound of it!

On a somewhat more pleasurable note, is having orgasms with clients a common thing? I'm surprised at how often it happens for me and it really freaked me out at first.

I hope that's not too much information but genuine orgasms are not something I expected when I started out a few years ago. Just wondering if I'm normal!?!

perfectly normal. if your enjoying yourself, why not. it would be rude not too ;)

I have found the older, less attractive guys that would not normally register on my radar are the ones hitting the spot most and best... now is that normal? I dont know, but im not going to complain ;D

Its called being attracted to someone who isn't your type...common, but not unusual. Just be aware that those who didnt 'register' on your 'radar' in the past can potentially, eventually become more 'attractive' to you over time.

It's easy to get too rough. If you're doing something that's working for someone, building it up is often they way to go. If you do that but for whatever reason don't see the signs that you've gone too far, then ow.

I just tell them. If I'm still getting enough blood to my brain I say something like "more gently please", but if it's all I can manage, "too much" also works. I also try to tell or show them if there's something specific I want them to do differently. Most men like it when you do that because they know that when you seem to be enjoying it it's probably real.

I think men are sometimes rough with us ladies because they like harder handling themselves (i mean have you ever seen the way most men masturbate? they look like they are about to pull the thing off) so they assume that being rough will really work,i think porn has a lot to answer for as well cos the women in them are usually being handled quite harshly and appearing to love it!

I just tell clients that are rough that im sensitive and love a gentle touch and then i show them what feels better,most follow your lead and with the few that have refused too ive just taken their hand away and distracted them with something else.

I never have orgasms with clients,im a tough nut to crack at the best of times and i dont think i could ever be relaxed and secure enough for that to happen. Also (and i know some of you will think im mad) but i have a partner who i love very much and having orgasams with clients would feel wrong for me somehow,almost as if im giving away a piece of myself that i dont want to.

probably silly i know.

No it definately isnt attraction... Takes more than an orgasm to make me attracted to someone. I would just put it down to skill!

That doesnt sound silly to me at all. Its partly why i couldnt see myself escorting if i was in a relationship, I never say never but i dread it ever happening to be honest because i know it wouldnt sit right in my head. I'm pretty good at compartmentalising sex from emotion when single but not in relationships.

It also isnt too difficult to make me have an orgasm (not if i want it to happen) so i would be feeling like that all the time. I'm totally single though so i might aswell get my jollies while being paid to give others theirs.... i think of it as my bonus

same for me TianaKnight

some men are happy to pain girls and some boys are good, But boys giving a pain you so simply you can tell here.